Germany's Family
by Switzy Fangirl
Summary: Germany grew up with Prussia as the closest thing to father in his life. Who would have thought FRANCE was the closest thing to a mother? Story has a 3 part prologue, then gets into modern day. Modern day: Prussia is still trying to tame France and Germany still just wants a mom. Prance Family. Ambroise is a friend of France's, a witch, who catches Germany's eye. Modern day to.
1. Prologue: Before War

Germany's Family: Prologue

By SwitzyFangirl

AN: Redoing a few things, adding details, etcetera. New chapter soon!

_Germany looked up at Prussia, who was currently celebrating his victory with more beer. The albino had been ignoring him for hours. Prussia should have known better then to leave a young nation unattended for so long, but he never noticed when Germany got in trouble until far too late. _

_Germany snatched up a beer, quick as could be, and walked out casually, as if nothing had happened. He walked into the woods, ignoring the writing on the trees. As soon as he deemed himself far enough from his brother to avoid any issues, he sat down and uncorked the beer with his teeth. Maybe now Prussia would pay attention to him. He took the first swallow, enjoying his first taste of something so bad he'd been told doing so was horrible. _

_He was too young, everyone said, to even taste what was more interesting to his brother then him. He'd drawn pictures, recited battle plans, even trained until he thought he would drop dead, and yet Prussia had still ignored him except for an occasional pat on the head. He would show Prussia. He would show them all. Spain with his "He's such a cute little kid!" and Romano with his "Bastard ass little brat! Stay away from my little brother!" even Prussia would put him down as a child sometimes. He was done being the little kid no one paid attention to. If this didn't work, he'd do something far more drastic._

_France was on his way to Prussia's celebratory beer drinking contest after the Prussian's latest victory. He wasn't the biggest fan of beer, but he loved to see the look on everyone's face after he drank them all under the table. He spotted a figure he vaguely recognized as Prussia's younger brother Germany, chugging down a beer. His eyes widened and realization dawned. _

_No one really paid attention to Germany unless he was in trouble, especially Prussia._

"_Bonjour, Germany!" France called._

_Germany set down his now empty beer and looked up at France, eyes hazy. He hiccupped. "H-Hi France!" He called._

_France approached and knelt down to Germany's level. "Are you alright?"_

_Germany shook his head, a look of irritation on his face. "Don't…Don't feel so good."_

"_What hurts?" France asked._

"_My stomach feels weird…"Germany's face turned green. "I feel sick."_

"_We are in the woods, get it out of your system and I'll take you back. Then maybe we can play a game, after I drink your brother under the table." France gave him a soft smile._

_Germany nodded and turned to nearby bush._

_France walked into Prussia's, carrying a barely conscious Germany. He set the boy on a cot and walked over to Prussia, smacking him upside the head._

"_Hey! What was that for?!" Prussia demanded._

"_Leaving alcohol within the reach of a child!" France glared. "If I ever hear or see your little brother drinking YOUR beer again I won't just smack you!"_

"_I didn't-"_

"_No excuses! He's a child! It's your fault, now take responsibility for your actions! Yes he should know better, but it's obvious he wanted your attention Prussia! I have never seen you do more then send him a glance unless he did something wrong! You're teaching him that misbehavior breeds what he wants! You're undivided attention!" He smacked Prussia again._

"_Okay, I get before, but what was that for?" Prussia asked, rubbing his sore skull._

"_For your idiocy. Either you step up or my next visit will not be friendly!" France threatened._

"_Are you done lecturing me?" Prussia asked._

_France nodded. "Now I'm going to drink you under the table. How many have you had?"_

_Prussia smirked. "20."_

"_Bet you can't take another 40." France smirked back._

"_Oh, you're on!" Prussia yelled, grabbing another beer in time with France._

_Germany woke up, moaning. "Damn…my head hurts."_

_Moments later Prussia moaned much the same, France smiling down at the both of them. "I'll make you guys my hang over remedy and breakfast. Prussia, go change and wash, you look like hell froze over."_

_Prussia nodded, grumbled about "No such thing as Frenchmen with hangovers…" and walked out to the well._

_France helped Germany up. "Let's get you to the table, okay?"_

_Germany nodded, tears welling in his eyes. "The light…it hurts."_

_France chuckled, setting him on a chair. "You sound just like your brother, such complainers. You want wurst__1__ and eggs for breakfast, I'm guessing?"_

_Germany nodded, shielding his eyes from the light._

_France started boiling water, starting a fire in the fireplace. "Hang over remedy in ten minutes, breakfast in a half an hour."_

_Germany nodded, moaning in pain. Prussia walked in, hair still dripping and sat down. To lighten the atmosphere he joked "Women." and he and Germany both laughed weakly._

"_Last I checked, I was not a woman." France replied, getting out the correct herbs for the hangover remedy tea. He didn't sound all that concerned with what Prussia had said, since he was twirling around cooking in a long shirt and leggings._

"_How are the hangovers?" France asked, placing a plate and glass of milk in front of each Germanic nation._

"_Better." Prussia replied before beginning to shovel food like he was starving._

_Germany smiled weakly. "Almost gone…thank you France." He started eating, slower than his brother, but still faster than normal._

_France smiled and sat, beginning to eat his own._

_The three ate in silence._

"_Big Bruder__2__?" Germany asked._

_Prussia nodded. "What?"_

"_Why doesn't France come over very often?" Germany looked up at him questioningly._

"_Already miss him? It's only been a day." Prussia replied, picking up his beer._

"_When he's around the house is clean, we don't eat leftovers or that crap you call 'toast' that you burn beyond belief, you don't drink so much, and someone reads to me and plays with me." Germany replied, crossing his arms._

"_Sounds like he's your mom." Prussia smiled. "That would be nice. Maybe one day we'll take him over and he'll never leave, 'kay squirt. Now I've got battle plans to make, go play for a while. Then we can train together if it will shut you up for a while."_

_Germany nodded, running off so his brother wouldn't change his mind._

_Prussia chuckled, shaking his head. "Crazy kid. Like France would ever be tamed. Well…maybe." _

__Translations:

1) Wurst: A German Sausage. (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

2) Bruder: The German word for Brother


	2. Prologue: Franco-Prussian War

Germany's Family: Prologue Part 2 (otherwise known as the Franco-Prussian War)

By SwitzyFangirl

Recap: Prussia chuckled, shaking his head. "Crazy kid. Like France would ever be tamed. Well…maybe."

_In 1870 a war between Prussia and France started. France ultimately lost, and even though his country remained in control of itself, there is a high price for losing. He's lost his freedom, personally, as a person, for the next 30+ years. We will only scratch on the surface of this, a few days out of it, long before he ultimately squirmed out of the deal. Our story begins after the war was lost and The Paris Commune (The legendary government that lasted ten days) was destroyed. A warm summer day, less than a month after France's defeat to Prussia. Germany is now a teenager and more than happy to have his "mother" back._

_France flitted around the house, dodging Prussia's wondering hand with ease, while he dusted. Paintings of Prussia's old boss, Prussia, Germany, Him, Spain, all of them together. So many old memories were hanging on these walls, undusted and untouched since they were hung up._

_Prussia finally caught him, pulling the Frenchman into his lap. "Hey Francis…what's up?"_

_"Isn't it my job to molest you?" France spat, pushing himself off Prussia. "Buzz off; I'm cleaning your damn house."_

_"You can molest me if you want." Prussia offered, wagging his eyebrows suggestively._

_"There are children present." France replied, picking up his fallen duster. He avoided bending over, considering Prussia had forced him into his absurd maid outfit. Not that he couldn't rock it, of course._

_"I'm a teenager now. Go ahead. I don't care." Germany looked up from his book before quickly looking back, avoiding France's gaze of death._

_"That's no way to talk to your mother." Prussia chided him, laughing at the expression on France's face._

_"How the hell do I shut you up?" France demanded._

_"Blow me." Prussia suggested._

_"Will it shut you up?"_

_"I'll stop molesting you for a few hours." Prussia offered._

_France nodded. "Just let me-"_

_Prussia threw the struggling Frenchman over his shoulder and walked to his room, ignoring Germany who couldn't stop laughing to save his life._

_France walked out of Prussia's room, picked up the duster, and got back to work without a word._

_"Now if he'd have sex with me, he'd be the perfect wife." Prussia whispered to Germany, watching his brother snort in disbelief._

_"He'll kill you!" Germany whispered. "And then he'll kill me!"_

_"I can hear you." France called. "I finished the dusting; do you want me to start dinner or the laundry?"_

_"You could prepare yourself." Both Germanic nations starting laughing hysterically at Prussia's transparent comment._

_"No. I guess that means laundry." France sighed and picked up a hamper, going around the house and picking up all the clothes that had been strewn about by the brothers._

_The 3 sat down to dinner, France adjusting the stupid maid skirt again. "Kinky bastard." He grumbled and began eating, ignoring the Germanic Nations._

_"Hey Francy-pants, enjoying your wurst?" Prussia asked, snickering._

_France dropped his fork. "1…2…3…4…5-"_

_"Uh what are you doing?" _

_"6…7…8…9…10!" France glared. "Since that didn't work, excuse me."_

_After a moment they could hear the sound of firewood being split. Prussia jumped up. "I've got to see him split firewood in a dress!"_

_He watched, leaning against the doorframe and whistling. "You sure can tease France!"_

_"SHUT UP!" France shouted, returning to the ax. "Or I will cut off your dick with this ax." He mumbled the last bit; having a feeling he'd have a lot more to do with said piece of anatomy if he was heard. Prussia had always been a vengeful bastard._

_"What did I hear about my dick?" Prussia demanded, eyebrows furrowing together in irritation._

_"Nothing." France replied simply._

_"I'm not deaf." Prussia growled, enjoying the sight of his old friend, even through his irritation. "I heard you. Just wait."_

_France started washing the dishes, furiously scrubbing._

_"Yo Frenchie, dinner was awesome. Almost as awesome as me." Prussia complemented, watching France. His red eyes were gleaming mischievously._

_"Go to hell you egotistical bastard." France replied._

_Prussia twirled the Frenchman into his arms. He leaned down and whispered hotly in France's ear. "That's no way to talk to me. This your fault. You tried to hog Spain."_

_"No, the Paris Commune tried to hog Spain. I honestly didn't give a fuck who was on the Spanish thrown! Bastard!" France pushed him away. "Now, let me finish the dishes before I have to deal with more of your bullshit Prussia."_


	3. Prologue: WWII's Occupation of France

Germany's Family Prologue 3: WWII's Occupation of France

By Switzy Fangirl

_France remained stubbornly silent as he listened to the spy. "Hitler is planning to have Paris burned?" He asked, trying to process that this was happening. That Germany, the young nation he had helped raise, was about to have his capital burned to the ground._

_The spy, a young Frenchman, nodded. "Oui, oui__1__." _

"_This is not good." France leaned against the wall, pulling a pack of French cigarettes out of his pocket and a lighter. He offered the spy one, watching the man refuse politely before shrugging and lighting one. He exhaled the calming smoke. "We must prepare. Please, alert Charles de Gaulle for me, I have something I must do."_

_The spy nodded and left the room silently. _

_France sighed, wondering how this would work out. He knew he couldn't hide from Germany forever, that the nation was searching for him, and being so actively involved in the resistance was just asking for trouble. He squashed the doubt growing in his heart angrily. "I am La France de Vichy__2__, Vichy France. I am not some young nation without any experience in war and the art of hiding. Just because I am occupied does not mean I will lose. Angleterre__3__ will get Amérique__4__ to help to and France will be freed. I just need to have faith."_

"_Keep an eye out for this Frenchman." Germany held up a portrait of France, watching the small squad of German guards nod. "He is the representative of France. He is to be brought directly to me if found. Any questions?" _

_The guards remained still, none raising their hands._

"_Gut__5__." Germany smiled. "Dismissed."_

_The guards saluted and left._

_Prussia leaned against the wall, smiling at his younger brother. "You really miss him, don't you? And I thought I was crazy for missing the little bitch, you may have gone off the damn deep end."_

_Germany rolled his eyes. "Be thankful big bruder, I could have him tortured for information instead of giving him to you. He is part of the resistance, we both know him well enough to know that. He will not be found easily. The shortages and the occupation may have weakened him, but he is no stranger to this game. Before you accuse me of going off the deep end, do not forget it was you who fell in love with the hure__6__."_

_German spun on his heels and left his brother to seethe. _

"_I remember you fell in love with him to, he was your Mutter__7__, and you used to beg me to have him over. I wasn't the only one enamored with a hure. Think about that before you throw my affection in my face." Prussia growled at the empty room, wondering where he had gone wrong. He chuckled. "I may be awesome at a lot of things, but France was the good parent, not me. Verdammt__8__! I wish the damn Frenchie was here, he always knew what to do with Deutschland__9__."_

_France listened to Charles de Gaulle order around a few members of the rebellion before leaving the room, completely uninterested in the affairs being discussed. He walked out, looking around for a bar. He could use a pick me up at this point. In the morning he'd probably be kicking himself for spending money on alcohol with the current prices up as high as they were because of the shortages. Another thing to blame on Germany and Prussia. _

_He walked into the small cabaret__10__, looking around. The place was virtually empty, only a few Parisians and one or two German soldiers. He went over to the bar tender and took a seat on a stool. "Ambroise__11__, can I get something sweet and strong?" France asked._

_The Frenchman, boy actually, nodded. "Anything specific Mr. Bonnefoy?" Ambroise asked, cleaning a glass. _

"_Non, just need something." France smiled. "How's your Mère__12__?"_

_The boy began pouring out a bottle of wine. "She's still upset since we got news yesterday that my Père__13 __and my Frères__14 __fell in a raid on the Germans. She's afraid I'll enlist." He set the glass down in front of France._

"_Will you?" France asked, taking a sip. _

"_Non." Ambroise shook his head. "My Mère needs me here, running the bar. Plus, I'm not a fighter." He picked up a glass and began cleaning it. "By the by, I heard from one of the soldiers that the Germans be looking for you." He whispered._

"_What did you have to do to get this information?" France raised an eyebrow. "Not up to your old tricks, are you?"_

_Ambroise chuckled. "Non, nothing so fun. I'm on the straight and narrow now. I got the bastard drunk. He wouldn't shut up about the plans and stuff. I can't remember most of it, you know me, can't remember much. I do remember that. Apparently Luddy boy wants you back. Misses his mommy that much."_

_France chuckled, taking another drink. "I guess. Anything else?"_

"_Marie is pregnant with a boche babe__15__." Ambroise whispered the hot bit of gossip. "Her parents disowned her, she's working here as a bar maid part time."_

"_Tell her I wish her luck." France finished his drink. "What about the father?"_

_Ambroise refilled France's glass. "The father is promising to take her back with him to Germany when the war ends, no matter who wins." He smiled. "I believe him. He's such a young one, not much older than me. If he survives and she does, even if she loses the baby, he'll take her. Marie's lucky to find one like him."_

"_You'll find your own prince charming one day Ambroise." France promised. "You have forever, remember?"_

"_Yeah, I guess." Espoir rolled his eyes. "I always have wondered about vampires…maybe I'll take a trip to Romania one day."_

"_Dumb sorcière__16__." France chugged the rest of his drink and paid for his drinks. "I'll be back soon."_

_Two weeks later France came back to the bar, walking in and heading to the counter._

_A few guards were barking in German at Ambroise. One of them grabbed the boy, lifting him up off the ground. They finally gave up on German and barked at him in heavily accented French._

"_Where is the representative of France?" The German growled, shaking Ambroise._

"_Fuck you!" Ambroise cried out, kicking his legs out. "I am proud Frenchman! Even if I did know where he was I wouldn't tell you! Just because he comes here for a drink once in while doesn't mean I know where he resides!" _

"_We have ways of getting information out of you." Another German growled. "Tell us what we want to know!"_

"_Francis never told me where he lives!" Ambroise insisted. _

"_Brat!" The sound of the slap shocked everyone with their drinks. Everyone looked up at the soldier who had laid a hand on Ambroise._

"_That is it! Bastards! You should know better than to mess with a sorcière!" Ambroise glared._

"_Wait!" France called. "Ambroise, you do not need to protect me. I am capable of doing that myself."_

_Ambroise face palmed. "Francis, will you please stop being an idiot for one moment. I can take care of this."_

"_And end up tortured for the rest of eternity? I'm the idiot." France rolled his eyes before setting his gaze on the soldier holding Ambroise up. "Release him. If Germany or Prussia or whoever sent you wants me they can leave Ambroise alone. He has nothing to do with it. And if they want me they can come get me themselves, not attack a bar tender."_

_Ambroise was released. He dusted himself off before clearing his throat. "Back to your drinks!"_

_No one obeyed, watching France._

_The door to the bar opened and Germany walked in, quickly followed by Prussia._

"_France!" Prussia's eyes brightened. "Awesome!" France rolled his eyes, glancing at Ambroise. _

_Ambroise nodded, turning and walking back behind the counter. "Kick some ass Francis, you owe me big for the tip I dropped. I got more if you win."_

_France glanced from Germany to Prussia, currently squashed between the two in the motor car. The trip to Germany had been rather uneventful, and the car ride had been rather silent. He wondered how much longer the war would last and when he would be freed again._

_Prussia draped an arm over France's shoulder. France didn't shrug him off. Germany looked at them before nodding at the driver to speed up. The car sped up a bit, Germany's house slowly coming into sight._

_Prussia grabbed France's handcuffs as the motor car pulled to a stop and dragged the Frenchman out. No one spoke as they approached the house._

_Germany stopped outside and watched Prussia and France continue inside. A small, slightly deranged, smile crossed his face. "Meine Familie__17__. I have Meine Familie back."_

_France continued to walk around the kitchen, ignoring Prussia. Germany had gone back to Paris for a while, apparently having some business with General Choltitz__17__. _

"_France." Prussia set a hand of France's shoulder._

_France stopped moving, standing stalk still. _

"_Do you hate me?"_

_France bit his lip. "Non, Prusse__19__, I do not."_

"_Do you still have feelings for me? Like when we were kids?"_

"_Depends. Do you?" _

"_Ja__20__, I do. I miss you Frankreich__21__. I really do."_

"_Oui, I have found myself missing you sometimes." France admitted._

_Prussia leaned down and kissed the Frenchman. France kissed back._

_Ambroise filled himself a glass of wine and sat at the counter, glancing around his bar with narrowed eyes. The small bar was filled with German soldiers. Not a single Frenchman or woman to be found. After the incident with Francis about 6 months ago no Parisian would dare step inside. He was only in business now because he was one of few bars to serve German beer. He personally found it far too bitter and strong, but whatever paid the bills. Marie had moved in with him and his mother, to serve as a nurse for his mother, who was very ill. He blamed the Germans for this, as the army had brought diseases with them. Filthy bastards. His nose scrunched up in disgust and he downed his drink, pouring himself another one. _

_The door opened and a blond German with bright blue eyes walked in. There was a deranged look about him, as well as an air of authority. All the soldiers stood and saluted him. He gestured for them to sit and took a seat at the counter. _

_Ambroise glanced at him. "Monsieur__22__? What would you like?"_

"_German beer. Whatever you have is fine." _

_Ambroise nodded, pouring the German a beer, while watching him out of the corner of his eye._

"_You're a Hex__23__, aren't you?" The German asked._

_Ambroise ran threw his limited German. "I'm afraid I don't know what that means." He set the glass of beer down in front of the German. "Although your soldier friends have taken to calling me that, among other things. I'm curious if you wouldn't mind telling me what it means?" _

"_Witch." The German answered in English._

"_Oui, that I am." Ambroise nodded. "Unfortunately, I am not good for much with spells. I'm best with simple parlor tricks."_

_The German took a large swallow of the beer. "Do you remember me?" He asked._

_Ambroise looked him over. "Ludwig Beilshdmit, the representative of Germany. You picked up Francis a few months back, I remember you just fine."_

"_How do you know my name?" Germany demanded._

"_I know a lot." Ambroise smirked, picking up his glass of wine, and swallowing what was left. "I keep my head down and my ears open. Also, many of your soldiers cannot keep their mouth shut when they're full of alcohol. I used to deliver information to Francis, but now I have no use for what I learn. I don't really support the resistance, to many deaths. No one to share what I know with." He filled up his glass, turning back to Germany. "Is there anything you particularly want to know?"_

"_What is your name?" Germany asked._

"_Ambroise. It means immortal." Ambroise took a drink of his wine. "Francis told me a lot about you. About how he helped raise you." His eyes narrowed. "What you've done to him seems a little ungrateful. Not that I'm judging of course, I am in no position to judge anyone."_

"_You speak your mind without fear. Why?" Germany's eyes narrowed at the insight into his life, quickly changing the subject._

"_You couldn't silence me if you tried." Ambroise's face took on a serious expression, a far cry from the smirk of before. _

"_Why not?"_

_The smirk came back. "I'm immortal." He left Germany sitting there to attend to his other customers._

_Germany began coming to Ambroise's bar often, sometimes talking to the young Frenchman, sometimes not. He walked into the bar, looking back at the counter. Ambroise was pouring himself a glass of wine. The bar was deserted otherwise. Germany took his normal seat at the counter and Ambroise fetched him a beer without a word. That was very unlike him._

_Ambroise set the beer down in front of Germany. He tried to walk off, but Germany grabbed his wrist._

"_Something is wrong. I am not stupid. Why are you hiding your face?"_

"_Let me go." Ambroise clenched his teeth together. "It is none of your business what I do or don't do with my face."_

_Germany reached up and forced Ambroise to face him. "I didn't know you were vain, though I always thought you were. You didn't want anyone to see that you had a black eye."_

_Ambroise jerked away. "Doesn't matter anyway." He turned away, beginning to clean a few glasses._

"_Who punched you?" Germany finally asked._

"_Doesn't matter." Ambroise said after a moment. "Some drunk got in a bar fight. I had to break it up. Nothing much."_

"_You're lying." _

_Ambroise turned his head a bit to glare at Germany. "Why the hell do you care?"_

"_I just do. Now tell me."_

_Ambroise sighed. "I got in a fight, alright." _

"_That's it?"_

"_Yeah, not like me to do that. I'm not a fighter. Sometimes I lose it though and go off. Very rarely though." He got back to cleaning the glass. "The black eye was a warning. Next time, I may not be up to bar tending." He chuckled. "Oh well, a vacation does sound nice."_

"_Who punched you?" Germany asked, yet again, still not satisfied._

"_Can you drop it, please?"_

"_Who?"_

"_It's none of your business!" _

_Germany watched Ambroise begin to tremble. "It's none of your business." Ambroise repeated. _

"_I want a name."_

"_Fine. Jaeger __Austerlitz. He's one of the soldiers who comes in regularly. Happy?"_

"_Ja, Gute Nacht__24__." Germany paid for his beer and left, planning to find Jaeger Austerlitz and do something. He wasn't sure._

"_See you some other time, nosy." __Ambroise forced a smile, watching Germany leave before closing the bar down for the night._

_Ambroise was seething the second the soldiers, including Jaeger Austerlitz walked in. Austerlitz was sporting multiple bruises and his comrades were laughing at him._

"_You should have known better then to attack his pet bar tender. He knows everything." One of the soldiers clapped him on the back. "Hey! Bar tender, a round of German beer for us, please!"_

"_Coming." Ambroise filled up a few glasses and took them to the soldiers._

_Germany walked in and Ambroise didn't even look at him, just continued serving the soldiers. He took his sweet time getting back to the counter._

"_Beer?" He asked, keeping his tone bland. _

"_Ja, and information. You know a lot about my soldiers, what do you know about the rebellion?"_

"_They're in contact with the British. All I've got. They don't come in here now that you do."_

_Germany nodded. He'd already known as much. _

"_Oh, and the Allies are going to attack Northern Africa. You probably knew that though." Ambroise set the beer down in front of Germany, who was shocked silent._

_Ambroise didn't open for a week. The news of the full occupation of France had sent him into a kind of depression. He finally decided to open and found a package in front of the door to the bar. A box of Belgium chocolate. He picked it up, glancing at the attached note._

"_I'm sorry you're depressed. Enjoy Ambroise." There really wasn't a point in letting good chocolate go to waste anyway, so he opened the box and took at a chocolate. He moaned at the taste. He always had loved candy, especially chocolate, and Belgium chocolate was the best. Well, tied with Swiss chocolate, but still. He allowed himself one more before opening the door and hiding the box under the counter. He opened for business._

"_Germany-san! Germany-san!" Italy called, dragging Japan over to wear Germany was. _

"_Ja, Italy. Hallo__25__ Japan." Germany looked at them._

"_Where are you going?" Italy asked._

"_The bar. One of the few that serve German beer. They also have wine, if you want to come." _

_Italy nodded enthusiastically._

_Japan followed behind them, silent._

_Ambroise watched as Germany entered with an enthusiastic Italian and a quiet Japanese man. They each to a seat at the counter._

_Ambroise set a beer in front of Germany. "And for your friends?" He asked, smiling._

"_Wine please!" The Italian smiled._

"_Me as well." The Japanese man said quietly._

_Ambroise gave them a dazzling smile and poured to glasses of wine, setting one in front of each of them._

"_How's business?" Germany asked after a moment._

"_Slow. No one knows I'm open again. I think everyone thought I died." Ambroise chuckled. "How's it like on your end?"_

"_France is fully taken over, but you already know that."_

_Ambroise nodded. "Oui, I've heard as much. I probably found out before you did. Bar tenders are the best spies, as they say. Anything you want to know? Not that I've heard much but gossip, but I may have something."_

_Germany's eyes narrowed. "I've been coming here for months, and I'd like to think I know you pretty well Ambroise. You know something. And you will not be satisfied until you tell me, out with it."_

"_I heard from a friend of Francis's. A British guy with big eyebrows. Something about America has finally decided to join the fight. Oh and the Spanish have decided to remain neutral, but the Russians are very angry with you. They may join the Allies."_

"_That is good news for you, ja?" Germany asked, clenching his fist around the glass._

"_It means I get Francis back and less food shortages. I will miss chatting with you though." Ambroise went to go take more orders._

"_Germany! Do you like him?" Italy asked._

_Germany glared at him. "Beside the point, Italy. He have training in an hour, don't drink too much." He set down the money for his drink and stood, walking out._

_Ambroise pretended he hadn't heard the conversation or seen Germany leave._

_France sat down at the desk, Prussia staring over his shoulder. He slowly began writing, a quick letter to Ambroise, nothing big._

_The door opened and Germany walked in. Prussia smiled. "Hey little bro, you're back!"_

"_Ja, Gilbert."_

"_Anything interesting happen in Paris?"_

_Germany shook his head. "Nothing, what about here?"_

"_Frenchie convinced me to let him write a letter to his bar tender friend back in Paris."_

"_I don't want to know what he had to do to get you to agree, bruder, don't try and tell me."  
Prussia pouted. "Fine, but only because I'm awesome like that."_

_France snorted._

_Ambroise glanced around the bar, loneliness clouding his eyes. He figured Germany had gone home, but the German hadn't even said goodbye. The door to the bar slammed open and Marie ran in, baby in her arms, sobbing. _

_He dropped the half-filled glass of wine in his hand. "Is she?"_

_Marie ran over and hugged him, letting him sob into her shoulder. "I'm sorry Ambroise, I really am. You couldn't have done anything-"_

"_Maman__26__ is really gone."_

_Germany got back to Paris in May. He knew they were losing the war. He walked up to Ambroise's bar, seeing the girl, Marie, serving alcohol. Ambroise was nowhere to be seen. He walked in. Marie looked at him._

"_Where is-"_

"_He left town after his Maman died." She answered, tears welling up in her eyes. "There was nothing to keep him here."_

Translations:

Oui is French for Yes

La France de Vichy means Vichy France, referring to the Vichy government of France.

Angleterre is French for England

Amérique if French for America

Gut is German for Good

Hure is German for Whore

Mutter is German for Mother

Verdamnit is German for Damn it, Blast it, etcetera

Deutschland is German for Germany

Cabaret is French for nightclub or tavern, used a tavern in this story

Ambroise is a bartending immortal witch who happens to be friends with France. His brothers and father died during the war, so he has to take care of his ill mother. He's a large gossip so he gets along well with France.

Mère is French for Mother

Père is French for Father

Frères is French for Brothers

Boche Babe is the child of a German soldier and a French woman

Sorcière is French for Witch

General Choltitz was the German General in charge of Paris

Meine Familie is German for My Family

Prusse is French for Prussia

Ja is German for Yes

Frankreich is German for France

Monsieur is French for Mister

Hex is German for Witch

Gute Nacht is German for Good Night

Hallo is German for Hello

Maman is French for Mommy, Mother, or Mama


	4. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Of Alcohol and Flowers

AN: To all my wonderful reviews/story followers/awesome readers! This chapter is all for you, I'm so happy to get back to Germany's Family and start the _real_ story! Cookies and Cupcakes for all you wonderful people!

**Putscheschka: **I know, I love making France suffer XD! Prussia is the _worst_ parent when it comes to being oblivious. I'd hate to think how Germany would have grown up without France O.O.

**Luciferou:** Thank you; yes even I, the sadist writer, feel a _smidge_ bad for France…hehehe…maybe. And don't worry about lack of "kid" Germany, he'll be back in flashbacks, I promise!

**Francis Bonnifoy: **Nice to see another Francophile, danke for the review!

**Saemoon: **Thank you! And don't worry, all happy endings for everyone! Oh, and your English isn't that bad, actually.

**puddingcup00: **You seem so enthusiastic, _merci_. Well, here it is, your next chapter as demanded so nicely!

France: _Cher_, I hate to burst your bubble, but Ambroise would never-

Switzy: _Damn it_, Francis! You'll spoil what my wonderful OC's new job is.

Ambroise: _Bitch_, I love to bust your bubble. You gave it up in the chapter title.

Switzy: *Fuming* Fuck you!

Switzerland: *eye roll* Alright, enough. I will beat all of you with my peace prize!

Germany: That is so redundant.

Prussia: *stumbles into room, drunk off his rocker* Hey, is there a lemon yet bitch?!

Switzy: *twitching eyebrow* Do _not_ rush me, _asshole_.

Prussia: *snort* You're a pervert, one is coming.

Switzy: *punches Prussia* On with disclaimer!

Switzerland: *pinches nose between thumb and index finger* Switzy Fangirl doesn't own _anything_, thank you _God_!

Prussia: … I hate that bitch!

* * *

As usual when in America, England and America were trying to strangle each other. For once, instead of getting into it with them, France had sat himself next to Spain and was discussing wine. Well, not completely out of character then.

Prussia hadn't stopped drinking from the moment he came in with Germany. His feet were up on the table, ripped jeans a stark contrast to his brother's suit. An anarchy sign, large and imposing, was on his ripped up tank top. He occasionally looked over at France, and caught Spain's eye, nodding. Spain scratched his nose, the signal, and Prussia smirked. Gilbird flew onto his head, nesting with a _chirp_ in his bedhead of white hair.

France's eyebrows knit together in anger, flirty smile turning into a pout of irritation.

"Spain, why are we talking about _Prussia_?" France hissed in irritation.

"Well, amigo, you've ignored him for long enough, don't you think?" Spain asked, smiling. "I mean, it is 2013 isn't it?"

"That isn't the only reason I'm ignoring him!" France insisted.

"Then why?" Spain asked curiously.

"Because I have better things to do then fool around with that _birdbrained alcoholic_. I'm done with this conversation. Now, I personally enjoy a strawberry wine from 1983 on a date. Speaking of dates, how are you and Romano doing?" France changed the subject, straight into a topic Spain could never get enough of.

"Well, Roma usually goes for Italian wine, but once I got him to try French Strawberry wine and he admitted it was great!" Spain smiled brighter, eyes becoming wistful.

Francis smiled smugly, looking at Prussia. "I got you." He mouthed, turning back to Spain with a laugh.

Germany looked at his watch and sighed. "Nothing got accomplished again. Meeting-"

He was interrupted by the sound of pounding feet as everyone rushed out, shouts of excitement echoing as ties were loosened.

"Let's go get a burger!" America grabbed Romania and Canada, dragging the two behind him, Transylvania following behind them with a scowl, fangs out.

England and Spain walked out together, quickly followed by Russia and the Baltic nations. Then the Nordics. France left right on their heels, quickly followed by Prussia. To his irritation.

Germany's face met his palm with an audible _smack_ as the door opened. A disheveled looking blond rushed in, looking overly tired. He had a bouquet of flowers clutched in his hand, made up of rare blue roses.

The blond cursed. "Damn it, Francis! You said to bring them here, now! God! Well bastard, you can come pick them up!" He growled, slight French accent stronger with each irritated word. He stomped his foot, catching sight of Germany. He rushed out quickly.

Germany shook his head, a slight feeling of déjà vu taking him over for a moment. "Nein, it couldn't be." He shook his head, walking out to go save Prussia from his eminent castration.

France walked into the flower shop, past the shop girls, straight into the backroom. "Bonjour, mon ami!" He called.

Ambroise didn't notice him; earbuds in. "Let me set it straight, I've done some shit. The monster in your bed, begging me please don't-"

France tapped him on the shoulder. "Cher, paying customer/friend here to see you."

Ambroise took his earbuds out with a sign, pointing to the large bouquet of blue roses. "_Mon ami, moi haine tu_." He pouted.

France laughed. "Honhonhon… You love me!"

Ambroise scowled. "You led that damn Prussia here again."

"_Quoi_? I did?" France asked.

Ambroise nodded. "I hate when he comes here, I feel like it is my impending doom."

France laughed again. "Mon ami, you always say it like it is!"

Ambroise blinked. "I'm a Sagittarius. It is what we're known for."

"Oui, you need to stop reading those horoscopes." France said seriously, just as Prussia managed to push past one of the shop girls and into the back room.

"Hey Frenchie!" Prussia smirked, walking in. "You shouldn't run away from me. Makes me think you're playing heard to get."

"Get a clue, idiot." Ambroise growled. "Get out of my shop, I reserve the right to kick you out."

Prussia laughed. "Kesesesese…Then I'd tell Germany where you are. I know you've been hiding."

"Bastard." Ambroise growled, turning back to the flower arrangement he'd been working on for a friend. "And I haven't been hiding, I've been thinking."

Prussia rolled his eyes. "Sure, yeah."

"Can you two take this elsewhere?" Ambroise asked France.

"Non, Chère, I would prefer not to be alone with _la psychopathe _birdbrained idiot." France replied, irritation in every syllable.

"I resent the idiot bit." Prussia glared. "I may be psychotic, but I am not stupid."

"Denial."

"Bitch."

"I do not have to stoop to your level Prussia! Insults do not bother me; I've dealt with them for years."

Ambroise crossed his arms, seething in anger. "Will you two take your lover's spat out so I may finish my project?!"

"I am not his lover!" Francis insisted.

Prussia laughed. "Been there, done that, let's do it again."

"Prussia-"

"Prussia we are going to be late for our flight!" Germany yelled, walking in.

Ambroise decided that would the best time to begin banging his head into the wall.

"Ambroise, you are going to damage that gossip monger brain of yours." Francis said, pulling his friend and ex-informant away from the wall.

"Need alcohol to do with deal with this shit. World War fucking II all over again." Ambroise moaned in complaint. "Anyone else want a drink?"

"Oui."

"Ja."

"Danke." Germany sighed, glaring at the two shorter nations in front of him. "I'm about to shove these two in a locked room to stop this senseless, idiotic fighting."

"He's the idiot!" France protested, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ambroise walked in, handing the Germans each a beer and France a glass of wine. He had some weak American brew in hand, and took a large gulp.

Germany watched him out of the corner of his eye. The mention of WWII had peaked his curiosity, just maybe…

"Okay Frenchie, you know I suck at that romantic shit you like-"

France interrupted him with a snort. "Understatement of the century."

"Anyway," Prussia glared. "I am willing to try it. The awesome me can learn, right?"

"That isn't the only issue, and you know it." France replied, taking a quick drink from his wine. He licked a drop off his lip. "You may have gotten over the past, but in case you forgot, I still have streets with German names. And that was your little idea. The signs of that shit you pulled with Germany and the rest of the Axis still scar _ma merveilleux Paris_."

"Really, street names?" Prussia demanded. "You're mad about _street names_?"

"You tried to destroy my capital! I don't have the right to be pissed about that? If that is what you think asshole, then you don't have a shot!" France clenched his hand into a fist. "You fucking _know_ what the destruction of a _capital _does to a _nation_. It _destroys_ them. When Russia and the Allies invaded didn't the loss of _Kaliningrad _hurt the most?"

Prussia was silenced. A rare feat, something rarely anyone other than France successfully managed.

Ambroise glared at his friend. "That was harsh; at least you didn't lose your capital. He lost his whole country _forever_. Yes, I know my god damned Prussian history. I use _fucking_ Wikipedia. They renamed the city in modern Russian for god's sake. He was taken by motherfucking _Russia_. I've met the Baltics. You should _understand_. He had it a hell of a lot worse."

"You're drunk." France replied, not at all irritated with Ambroise. "Otherwise, yes you probably would still side with him. No matter how hypocritical of you that is."

"Fuck off." Ambroise spat, chugging the rest of his beer in one swig. "I'm a hell of a lot younger then you, I was born in the 1930s. Last I checked, you've been around for centuries, and this completely different. You love him. Give him another chance. Idiot."

"Yeah, give me another chance!" Prussia spoke up, smirking. "I am-"

Ambroise cracked him over the head with his empty beer, the bottle breaking on the Prussian's head. "I here you say _awesome_ one more _fucking_ time and I will _kill_ you. I swear to _god_."

"I would do it." France smiled. "Ambroise is a violent drunk. His alcohol tolerance has gone down quite a bit since you two last met Prussia."

"I will leave nothing but a chalk outline of your dead body." Ambroise said coldly, looking at the half of a broken beer in his hand. "Now I need to get another. Damn. This is what I've been driven to. Drinking away my problems. If I become an alcoholic I blame you Francis." He walked to the door, arguing with a shop girl about allowing him to grab another beer. She wasn't having any of it.

"Cher, you've had enough. Stop bugging Macy, she is looking out for you!"

"Fuck off!" Ambroise countered, returning beer free. "I hate this shit! Least when I was bartender I could drink myself to a more, excuse my American English, _fucking sweet heavenly bitchin' land of unicorns, fairies, and mother fucking pirates with lots of rum and candy treasure!_" He rubbed his temple. "God, I am drunk. I seriously just said that out loud." He headed over to the phone, dialing and speaking quietly two whoever was on the other end.

France and Prussia began arguing again. Germany ignored every word on illegal substances he was hearing, keeping an eye on Prussia to insure the Prussian didn't end up either a) dead or b) castrated.

Prussia stopped shouting for a moment to push France into a wall and begin kissing him senseless. France reciprocated immediately.

Ambroise told whoever was on the other line to "Keep the blow, and I'm okay without the aphrodisiac now. Thanks." He hung up, leaning against his worktable, and a large shit eating grin spread across his face. "67 bottles of rum, 67 years, 67 times I said _I fucking told you so_."

France didn't pull away from Prussia, just flipped Ambroise off.

Ambroise laughed him off. "_Bitch_ please, I told you he'd wear you down. You were pissed with him before, and yet, infatuated you remained. So poetic, someone should write a book. I'd do it…but I think I'll with the more _carnal pleasures_." He cackled, quickly cutting himself off. "Now France, take your damn flowers, your boyfriend, and his brother and get the _fuck _out so I can work my magic."

France pushed Prussia off. "You are trying the romantic shit, got it? Let's go." He dragged Prussia off, the Prussian flashing the German a quick finger.

"Don't wait up!" He laughed, more than happy to be dragged off by his France.

Germany looked at Ambroise. "Ambroise the hex?"

Ambroise sighed. "Yeah, it's me." He laughed hollowly. "Been a while, hasn't it? Last time we met I believe your Italian friend may or may not have said a few things."

Germany looked him right in the eye. "You heard that?"

Ambroise nodded. "I hear everything, even now, _nothing_ escapes me."

"I heard about your mutter."

Ambroise nodded. "I try not to think about it, I knew she wouldn't be there forever. There is a price for immortality, after all."

"You left without saying goodbye."

Ambroise broke eye contact. "So did you. Point being?"

"I was coming back! The war wasn't over."

"How was I supposed to know that, you were gone for months? I figured you forgot about my little bar and if you were back, I was the furthest thing from your mind."

"You waited for me for a while though." Germany realized. "You waited."

"I'm not some bitch who waits for the soldiers to get back. When my maman passed, I left. End of story, there was _nothing _left for me in Paris. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about staying, just in case you came back. I left town, went to some remote town in the middle of nowhere that was so goddamned boring I thought I was going to _die_. I came to America a few months after the war ended. I've lived in New York, California, and of course now, D.C. The only person I keep in contact with from Paris is France." Ambroise turned away, back to his work.

"I came back though. That has to count for something."

"No, you had to come back. To enslave my people. Because we were _fucking_ below you. Because we wouldn't break, we bended and twisted around, being _complacent_. We claimed to read Mein Kampf to be left alone, we changed street names, and we allowed ourselves to be controlled. I was spat on and ridiculed by the majority of the French people I know because I, like an idiot, made _friends_ with a _Nazi_. Not just any Nazi, but one the others _feared_. I betrayed my country at least once and I _didn't even know I was doing it_. I was young and stupid. I'm over it."

"I searched for you."

"Not fucking hard enough." Ambroise spat. "I've been right here; I've lived all of 4 different places using the _exact same fucking name_ since Paris. I went back before heading to the Americas. The soldiers were still filing out, and you were gone. Just like I knew you would be. I came back. I hoped and I gave up."

"I-"

"Get out. I'm done with this conversation. I'm done with that piece of history; I burned it to cinders years ago. Get out."

Germany left, putting a business card with his phone number on the table beside Ambroise before he left. "If you change your mind."

"I won't." He told the empty air long after the door had closed. "I never do."

France found himself laughing at some insane, likely over exaggerated tale Prussia was telling about when he went drinking with _Scotland_, _Ireland_, and _America_.

"We had this huge awesome drinking party and Denmark showed up and the party really got _fucking started_. We got out these streamers and ran around the hotel room with them. Then America got out the Silly String and fucking covered us in _spray on pink string_. Then they decided to add some color to my hair and America held me down while they died my hair to _match the string_. It was way not awesome!" Prussia hadn't stopped smiling through the entire story. "Then Spain arrived with more beer and even fucking _Russia_ came. We were doing Vodka shots till dawn. Then West freaking came in when were all passed out and dumped _cold ass fucking water_ on us! Totally ruined it. The hang overs were the worst though, even Russia was complaining of one the next day. Too much!" Prussia laughed.

France was having fun, he to admit. He missed just talking to Prussia.

"What happened with Germany and Ambroise?" France asked suddenly.

Prussia looked at him. "You of all people should know." He stated simply.

"Quoi?" France asked.

"He's head over heels." Prussia snorted. "Like, obsessive. He's been searching since _before WWII ended_. Apparently they really hit it off when I was messing around with you. Remember, that maid outfit?"

France really should have been mad, but really, Prussia had made that fun. "He does know Ambroise is clueless at love right?"

"No shit." Prussia replied, taking a bite of his steak. "Kind of obvious. Luddy is to."

"I think he kind of hates Germany now though." France sighed. "He feels abandoned. Something that happens to him often."

"Ludwig's hired private investigators and everything to search for the little hex. Now, on an awesomer note, I got invited to this stupid _formal_ party by England and America, something about celebrating history and shit. I'm just going for the booze, but I have to bring a date. Normally, I wouldn't ask because it is going to be boring as _fuck_, but would you come with me?"

France smiled. "Sure, ma amour, I would love to rescue you. _La pluriel ta afficher, non_?"

"I still don't speak a word of French." Prussia laughed.

"Well," France lifted his glass to toast. "To having a chance to change that. I might even learn _German _or _Old Prussian_. If this works out, of course."

The two toasted, discussing plans for later on.

Mon ami, moi haine tu. French. Mainly feminine. My friend, I hate you.

Quoi? French. Probably Masculine, unsure. What?

La psychopathe. French. Masculine/Feminine. The psychopathic.

Ja. German. Yes.

Danke. German. Thanks.

Ma merveilleux Paris. French. Mainly feminine. My wonderful Paris.

Konigsberg was the capital of Prussia from the late middle ages until 1701 until it was moved to Berlin. From 1701 to 1945 Konigsberg was the capital of East Prussia. It was conquered and destroyed by The Soviet Union and the Allies near the end of WWII. In 1496 the rebuilt city was renamed Kaliningrad. Other names include Old Prussian: Kunnegsgarbs and Knigsberg. The meaning of Konigsberg is literally King's Mountain. Kaliningrad is modern Russian and is the current official name of the city. For more information look up Konigsberg on Wikipedia.

Ma Amour. French. Feminine. My love.

La pluriel ta afficher, non? French. Mainly feminine. A chance to flaunt, no?

* * *

Switzy: Haha, Al got a lemon before Prussia! Eat my Swiss Cheese, mother fucker!

Prussia: *sulking in emo corner* Fuck you!

America:…Male!Reader insert, really?

Switzy: *smirking* You love it, dick.

Switzerland: *eye twitching* *clutching peace prize like a security blanket* I will do something about this before she writes AusSwiss, or whatever it is called. At least I'd top though. *sighing in relief*

Austria: *laughing so hard he drops his coffee* You? Top? Ha!

Switzerland: *growing angrier* Of course I would top! I'm stronger and more dominating. Plus look at her username: Switzy Fangirl. Me. She loves _me_. Tell him Switzy!

Switzy: *Day dreaming about a certain Germany cosplayer* Oh, huh?

Austria: *rolling eyes* He thinks he'd top.

Switzy: *holding back laughter* Excuse me for a moment. I have to go consult my board of _things that will never fucking happen_ and add that to it! Ha! Switzerland topping? Are you kidding me? _England_ topped you. _England_, mon cher, that's just got _uke_ written all over it!

Switzerland: He also topped France and America!

America: *looking up with a glare* Do _not_ remind me! I'll hold you down for Austria and he'll treat you like France!

France: That was horrible! Do not remind me! And Germany told him to do it! *hangs head in shame*

Switzy: *cough cough* Whore. Oh, um anyway, yeah America and France are kind of whores so, shut up. France got topped by…let's go down the list, shall we? Scotland, Prussia, Ireland, , Wales, England, Germany, America, Spain, Spain and Prussia, Italy, Austria, Romano, and many others. America has been topped by England, Scotland, Spain, Prussia, Russia, Lithuania, Poland, China, and a few others. Horrible examples. Remember, America is _the asshole _of the world. He's been fucked and chucked more often than France.

France: No he hasn't, well actually, I only get fucked, not chucked.

England: Most of this happened when I was a pirate.

Switzy: Yeah um, Scotland kicked your ass for wearing a dress for France long before your pirate days.

Scotland: Aye, I did, and I'll do it again.

Switzy: SCOTTY! *jumping up and hugging him* Now I got Scotty, Switzy, and Germany! Mine biatches! But, I guess, I can share. Maybe. Bye!


	5. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Dating and Hiding

AN: Hey everyone! I got a nice review so I decided to get back to this story! ) Plus, I'm surprised not to have received a single flame yet! *hehe* I guess I used the warnings right! _Merci_ to all the wonderful readers, this is for you!

**HetaliaAkatsukiGirl619**: Thanks! I like knowing people love my stories.

Switzy: *cuddling Scotland plushie* Scotty left me! Oh well *smirks evilly*

Switzerland and Germany: *looking at each other in fear*

Prussia: I want my lemon bitch!

Switzy:…No.

Prussia: WHY?! WHY YOU NO LOVE ME ANYMORE?!

Switzy: *sighing* Well, you are the one who hooked me on Hetalia. I'll give you a lemon soon.

Prussia: Hear the France! We get a lemon!

Ambroise: If she gives me one I'll kill her.

Switzy: *smiling in a deranged way* you're more of a slut then France. You know that, right? You like reading and watching porn way too much.

Ambroise: *watching porn* DO NOT!

France: *looking at the TV* _Cher!_ You would do _that_?

Ambroise: *shrugging* If I got a mil for every XXXX that went up my XXX as a porn star, fuck yes. I'd do it.

Germany: *looking at screen, pulling out riding crop*

Ambroise: *pointing at him, watching screen* No XXX till I get my alcohol then you can XXXX my XXX till morning XXXX.

Switzy: He's way to damn explicit. Story time! Gather around!

Disclaimer: Fair use and shit.

Ambroise paused the TV and picked up the phone. "Bonjour Francis. How was your date?"

"Fine, cher, really fun actually."

Ambroise smirked. "Did you follow my advice and channel your inner Victorian Lady and refuse to put out on the first date?"

"Oui, it was hard, but I did." France sighed. "I did it. I hate you, cher."

Ambroise glanced at the TV. "Um, France, you do know what I do around this time, right. Not that I didn't want to know about your date but you have horrible timing!"

"Oh, yes, this is your fun time isn't?"

"Yes, and unfortunately, I think I'm dying."

"Meet me at that little dinner in an hour."

"Bye!" Ambroise hung up and turned the TV back on. "That's right XXXX his little XXXXXXX till he XXXXX all over himself."

(He wasn't watching porn, he was watching yaoi, well, same difference.)

Ambroise sat down across from France, ordering a coke. "We should go get blue motherfuckers later."

"And deal with your drunken ass? No." France glared. "Last time you had one you almost left the bar with a mafia man who was going to shove his gun up your-"

Ambroise glared. "That was one time! And he slipped something in my drink, there are some lines even drunk me won't cross! Like vampires and metal!"

France rolled his eyes. "What about werewolves?"

"Well, if they transformed while-" He stopped, catching sight of two Germans entering. "I'll tell you later. Stick and Bitch are here."

Prussia spotted France and pulled Germany over with him to the booth. They took their seats and Ambroise immediately fished out his phone and started texting his lawyer about a few revisions to his will.

France looked over Ambroise's shoulder at the text. "_Cher_, you're immortal, why do you have a will?"

"Don't remind me!" Ambroise growled. "I need to think. Other then my porn stash, do I have anything that's worth anything? Let's see…my game systems and games are at least 25,000…I think that's it. Well, money…"

France smacked him. "Stop it. Now."

Prussia was looking at him. "Porn stash?"

Ambroise sighed. "I talk aloud way too much, yeah, porn stash. Like I said before I prefer _carnal pleasures_. And alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. Blue motherfuckers galore!"

"If you like alcohol the Dane and I made a drink called the 5 meters, really strong shit." Prussia smirked.

Ambroise looked at him disdainfully. "You do know that Francis and I tell each other everything, right? I know your name for your dick. Five meters? God dude, if it was that long, France wouldn't let you come near him. Head over heels or not. Be careful what you wish for."

France cuffed him. "Don't even think of using your damn voodoo magic on him for something like that!"

Ambroise smirked evilly. "The universe has a way of doing things that are so damn funny. Now, why did you want to see me?"

France wasn't having any of it. "Non, promise you won't."

"Fine, I promise. Witch's honor." Ambroise rolled his eyes.

"Well, actually, this is about you being a hypocritical bitch." Prussia interjected.

Ambroise sent him a look that could have curdled milk. "I am not a bitch, I am not the bitch-"

France clamped a hand over his mouth. "Listen!"

"Can I order ice cream first because that will keep me quiet?" Ambroise moved France's hand.

"Oui."

The waitress came back and returned a moment later with Ambroise's ice cream and a beer for each of the Germans.

"Now, you and Germany need to talk." France told him sternly.

"I'd fuck a vampire before I'd do that." Ambroise said through a mouthful of ice cream.

"That can be arranged!" Prussia shouted.

Germany used Prussia's skull tie to gag him. "Shut up."

"Ambroise, you should-"

Ambroise interrupted. "Yeah, well maybe I don't want to! That chapter ended and was burned up, leave me alone about it!"

"You are being a hypocrite!" France snapped. "You convinced me to give Prussia a chance!"

"Because he started invading my personal space in an effort to get to you! I might be your friend, but I'd prefer to leave relationship decisions to you! God! You would have given in eventually. Now, you seriously interrupted my day off to piss me off?"

"Oui, bitch, I did. Now talk."

Ambroise raised an eyebrow. "Alright, you're a nosy bitch who needs to stop dragging me into this shit. I talked. Now let me eat ice cream!" He kept his eyes on the ice cream.

France grabbed it and pushed it in front of Prussia.

Ambroise stared at the place where his ice cream had been, tears in his eyes. "I-I'm going to kill you!"

"Don't be such a brat." France rolled his eyes.

"I will dance on your grave. You. Took. My. Ice cream. I've never felt so disappointed and betrayed." He was glaring at the table.

"Oh please, you probably had ice cream for breakfast."

"Gelato actually." He admitted. "But I deserve ice cream!"

"Why?" France raised an eyebrow.

"Well let's see, what did I tell you I was going to do ne night while I was drunk?"

France spent the next answer popping up with random shit Ambroise had said while under the influence of alcohol.

"Have sex with a woman?"

Ambroise glared harder. "No!"

"Become a porn star?"

"NO!"

"Get a tattoo?" France asked with a sigh. "That's the last one."

"Yes, I got a tattoo."

"Oh!" France looked him over. "Where and of what?"

"I was drunk so I said he could tattoo whatever he wanted."

France raised an eyebrow. "What is it and where?"

"Angel wings. On my back. And a tramp stamp. I don't know what it says."

"Angel wings? Wow, whoever it was did not know you." France couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Well, he said they were angel wings. I haven't seen them yet."

"You haven't seen your tattoo yet?"

He shook his head. "It's kind of hard to crane my neck far enough. I get a headache when I try. Usually because I'm drunk at that point."

"Text me a picture of it later." France ordered. "Now, what were we here for?"

Ambroise shrugged. "May I have my ice cream back?"

"It melted." Prussia interjected happily.

Germany had laid his head down on the table over half an hour before.

"Damn, damn, damn!" He pouted. "I'll just get a milkshake later."

"If I agree to go out on one date can I not have my ear chewed off anymore?" Three hours and fifteen different tactics later, Ambroise was about to knock out.

"Oui." France knew that was as good as Ambroise was going to give.

"Oh, uh, France?" Amboise asked, blinking sleepily. "I'm going to go get drunk. If I don't call you by 2 tomorrow I'm either passed out drunk in the street, in the hospital, or kidnapped."

"Have fun."

Ambroise waved. "Bye bye." He stood and left.

France and Prussia walked into the benefit being held by America and England for how history had affected them all. Germany and Switzerland were already getting drunk at the bar when the two arrived. The first thing France noticed was that Spain was incredibly drunk and hanging off of England.

"We should do something more fun." Spain said seriously, hiccupping a moment later.

England rolled his eyes. "I wish I could hit you." He hissed.

Spain smirked. "Then we'd start fighting and end up in the janitor's closet-"

England clamped a hand over Spain's mouth. "Not another word or we'll have a repeat of the Spanish Inquisition."

Spain, even drunk, understood the threat and silenced himself, leaving England so he could get more alcohol.

France walked over to England once Prussia ran for the booze. "So you and Spain?" He asked, smirking.

England glared. "It is nothing serious frog; we've just found that we both enjoy violence in everything."

"Sadomasochistic." France laughed. "I knew it! I knew it!"

England rolled his eyes. "Anyone who loves fighting has a certain degree of sadomasochism in them France."

France just winked. "Oui, of course Arthur, of course."

France's phone buzzed and he checked it.

_Here's the damn tattoo. I actually kind of like it. Maybe I should get a piercing next. Like, ear piercing, not a Prince Albert or some shit like that._

France glanced it over. He agreed, it was done rather prettily. The intricate designs and the words underneath: _Angel In between_. It really did kind of fit Ambroise.

_I like it. How long were you on the table?_

_All night, I think, I lost consciousness. _

France laughed. _Good job._

_Oh, fuck you Francis._

_Bye, cher, have to go._

_Bye. _

Prussia snuck up behind France, grabbing him around the waist, and nibbling on his ear.

France squeaked. "What the hell?"

Prussia laughed, releasing him, and just smirking. "Still being a Victorian lady?"

France nodded.

"Second date to? Damn it!" Prussia growled.

"If you want I can have Ambroise send you something to help. He can get anything."

"You in handcuffs?" Prussia asked, eyes begging.

"If he wanted to, yes, he could. I meant pornography."

"Oh." Prussia sighed.

"5th date." France looked around.

"But this is only the second!"

"I'll count the next hour as the third."

"I love you!"

"If you get England and Spain on tape from Elizibeta, I'll make it fourth as well."

Prussia's eyes shine. "Hell yeah! Beta!" He called, running around in search of Hungary.

Prussia: Does this mean-

Switzy: *Nodding* You get a lemon next chapter after you accompany Germany and Ambroise on a double date to Ambroise's favorite place that's open before 3 PM.

Ambroise: *smiling broadly* I now understand that there is indeed beauty in your demonic horrible sadistic heart Switzy.

Switzy: Yep! I really need to get to work on AuSwiss though, seriously.

Switzerland: NO!

Austria: Yes!

Germany: …I have a question.

Switzy: Uh huh?

Germany: Since you're a France cosplayer and a NY cosplayer, aren't you more of a pervert than Ambroise?

Ambroise: Yeah, aren't you?

Switzy: #Eat My Swiss Cheese! *runs off screen*

Switzerland: …She totally stole my line from 7 minutes in heaven. And added a #  
Prussia: #Eat My 5 Meters!

Ambroise: #XXXX me XXXX till I XXX all over the wall!

Germany: #I feel bad for myself

France: #SpUk

England: #France Will Die

Spain: #Horny

Austria: #Looking Up Yaoi of Myself and Switzerland

Switzerland: #Shooting Austria In The Dick


End file.
